The Cylindrical Container of Cheesiness
by JediYvette
Summary: Hard to explain. Just read it--My first fanfic. Please review


The Cylindrical Container of Cheesiness "Behold the Power of Cheese"   
By Jedi Yvette   
Collaborated by Jedi Farfy  
  
  
Disclaimer: Star Wars is a registered trademark, as well, as many expressions used in this story. I am receiving NO money for this manuscript.  
  
"Mommy," Anakin whined to his mother, Leia Organa-Solo. She shook her head. She knew Anakin did not want to go to school today. She smiled sinisterly. He's trying to con himself out of the math test again, she thought to herself, well, it is not working again-How stupid does he think I am. Leia was to busy thinking to herself to hear her daughter Jaina say, "Mom! Anakin is wheezing real bad or something."  
"What!" Leia said, not out of worry for her son, but because she lost the past 5 minutes in her thoughts.  
Jaina sighed. Her mother was being such a basket case.  
When Leia realized that Anakin really wasn't feeling well, she bundled him up in his favorite teddy bear sweater, and bright green stocking cap (And he is 15 years old, too) and took him to the doctor.  
  
"Well", Anakin's doctor, named Dr. Core Vorkien said, "It appears you have a slight case of asthma. Nothing an inhaler couldn't fix." So they went home, some what relieved. "At least it is not a terminal cancer or a schizophrenic episode." Leia told her husband Han over dinner. Han wasn't paying attention; all he knew was that there was a beer in his hand, and the latest podracing match on the portable HoloTV. Leia sighed.   
  
"::deep breathing:: Mom, please pass ::deep breathing:: the mashed potatoes ::deep breathing::," Anakin said, his asthma altering his voice so much Leia thought it was some else, someone so frightening-Stop! She told her self. I spent way too much money on therapy just to go into an episode. Breathe!  
  
While her mother was busy breathing, Jaina passed Anakin the potatoes. Why was her mom being such a basket case? Ah well, she thought. I'm too busy with Rouge Squadron to worry. I'm not the one suffering from schizophrenic episodes: she is. With that, she got up to play Dark Forces with the other X-Wing pilots. I have priories, she thought.  
  
Jacen, noticing his brother was preoccupied with, obviously unhealthy thoughts of the affects of mustard on third world soccer goals, thought a nice lightsaber match would keep Anakin's mind of stupid thoughts.  
  
So Jacen and Anakin were re-creating Darth Mauls final duel. Anakin claimed Obi-Wan right away, and they started to play. However, several minutes into the game, Anakin's normally emerald green lightsaber turned red. Jacen gasped, and Anakin stopped fighting, afraid that he did something stupid again. Unable to say anything, Jacen made weird grunting sounds, and pointed to Anakin's lightsaber. Anakin looked at it and said, "Hey-Cool!" Jacen fell to the ground unconscious.  
  
"I like red and black," Anakin told his stuffed bear, Snuffly. Snuffly didn't say anything, but Anakin pretended he agreed with him. To preoccupy him, Anakin went to E-Bay and saw a nifty mask. There was only 5 minutes until bidding closed. He had to have it. He won the auction, and sent only 11.89 plus shipping and handling. 11 Days later, he had his mask.  
  
He wore his mask to dinner one-day, and asked is mom to pass the mashed potatoes. She fainted, and fell to the ground. She must not like mashed potatoes, Anakin thought.  
  
He wore his "Special mask" everywhere. People told him he looked just like his grandfather, whatever that meant. One day, he walked into a Little People Empowerment Seminar, mistakenly thinking it was an Anti-Jar Jar Binks Support Group for the Children of Schizophrenic Parents. While there, he met a small green guy named Adoy. "To you, hello!" Adoy greeted Anakin. Just great, Anakin thought, another immigrant who can't speak Basic. Jeez. Anakin turned to Adoy, and said, "Hi."  
  
Adoy and Anakin talked a lot and eventually became friends. While talking to Adoy one day, they ran into a wrinkly guy, in a cloak 5 sizes too big. "You, watch step where you are going, Okay?" Adoy said. The wrinkly guy apologized, and asked for directions to the Old Wrinkly Guys in too big Cloaks Reach out Program. Anakin offered to take him to the meeting house. Adoy left them, having to go the I am green and proud of it seminar next door. Anakin and Wrinkly guy started talking, Anakin mentioned how he was training to become a Jedi at his uncle's academy. Wrinkly Guy thought that was cool, and gave Anakin his business card. He then entered his meeting.  
  
Months passed, and everyone started to believe Anakin had turned into Darth Vader. Leia tried taking him to an exorcist, Han tried getting Anakin drunk, Jacen was too scared to even look at Anakin, and Jaina was too busy playing Shadows of the Empire with the Rogue Squadron, and forgot she had siblings. Finally, one day, at the Laughing Ewok Cheese Company, Luke comfronted Anakin about being Darth Vader. Anakin got very upset, and he started to fight Luke. Eventually, it became a full out duel. They fought for countless hours, until they were over a huge vat of cheddar cheese sauce.  
  
"Anakin," Luke said, "Come back to the light side." Anakin refused to talk, not wanting to sound like Darth Vader again. "Please?" whined Luke, "Your mom will not be happy." Anakin ignored him, and inched his way to the edge of the plank over the vat, and stared down at the cheese. It looked so yummy. Before Luke could say another word, Anakin jumped into the cheese. Luke screamed, "NO!" But it was too late.  
  
Anakin swam in the warm creamy cheesiness, and when he finally needed to, rose to the surface to breathe. "Yummy!" she said out loud. That is when he realized his asthma/heavy breathing was gone. He looked down at his clothes, and realized his black cloak was replaced with the outfit of a milkman. "Are you okay?" Screamed Luke from the plank hundreds of feet above. "Never underestimate the power of cheese!" Anakin yelled back. "Behold the Power of cheese." With that, he ignited his lightsaber, which changed to a orange-yellow color, and raised his arms in the air, chanting, "Grass, Cows, Milk. Of the cheesy side of the Force, are they!"  
  
The End  



End file.
